Barney’s Exes, Ranked By Likability

As the sitcom’s resident womanizer, Barney had his fair share of romantic entanglements. He even had a playbook with detailed strategies on how to seduce women. Despite the fact that Barney preferred one-night-stands, circumstances (and love) forced him to see a couple of women more than once.

RELATED: How I Met Your Mother: 10 Hidden Details About Barney Everyone Missed

Barney never forgot a former partner. He had a chart showing all the women he had been with. His relationships and short flings didn’t always lead to a happily-ever-after kind of scenario but they were interesting nevertheless. Here’s a ranking of Barney’s former romantic partners from worst to best.

10 Rhonda French

Rhonda was the woman Barney lost his virginity to. She was 45 at the time they were seeing each other. She also helped him regain his confidence after he was heartbroken by Shannon.

Despite the fact that she told Barney that he rocked her world, she never meant it. She confessed that she only said to because James asked her to. She only agreed to see Barney because James promised to hook up with her too if she did. No one likes a schemer.

9 Shannon

Shannon cheated on Barney with Greg because he wore designer suits bought her expensive gifts. Any cheater is hard to like. She also bailed out on him when they planned to go to Nicaragua for humanitarian purposes.

On the brighter side, the heartbreak made Barney work hard and become more successful. Shannon proved her despicable side again by wanting to get back with Barney when she saw how much he had improved. Unfortunately for her, Barney was out for revenge. He used her and ratted on Greg to the FBI.

8 Professor Lewis

Professor Lewis

Professor Lewis was unnecessarily strict. Everyone shared this opinion, including her student Marshall. In order to help Marshall get better grades, Barney decided to seduce Professor Lewis.

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After pleasing her in bed for a whole night, she still gave Marshall a ‘C-‘. Barney didn’t give up on trying to sexually satisfy her. He even dislocated a hip and had to be hospitalized because she wouldn’t let him rest during their lovemaking sessions. Despite, all the efforts, she only improved Marshall’s grade to a ‘B+.’ Brutal!

7 Meg

The fact that she earned the name “Crazy Meg” easily qualified her as an unlikable partner. Barney was even forced to file a restraining order against her.

When Barney and Robin date, Meg was the reason for all their biggest fights. At some point, Lily, who always felt she knew who is good for her, convinced her to help her break Robin and Barney up. When the plan failed, she moved on to another man that she was stalking. Barney was quite relieved.

6 Karina

Karina chose her men based on whether they wore suits or not, which was awkward. When Barney first tried to seduce her, she turned down his advances because all her three ex-boyfriends wore suits like him.

When Barney tried to seduce her again without a suit, she fell for him and slept with him. Didn’t she realize that he was the same man she had rejected? When she saw suits at Barney’s apartment, she tried to make her get rid of all of them. Of course, that didn’t work because suits were like family to Barney.

5 Wendy

Not much happened between Wendy and Barney during their brief fling. The fact that Barney freaked out every time he saw her after their break up meant she wasn’t a trustworthy person.

RELATED: How I Met Your Mother: 10 Saddest Things About Barney

He was always careful when taking drinks from her because he believed she was trying to murder him. He even threw away Marshall’s burger, which had been served by Wendy, because he believed she was trying to kill his friends too. When she tried to return his tie from the time they slept together, he ran away, thinking he was pulling a gun. Totally awkward!

4 Abby

Abby wasn’t quite sure whether she liked Barney or Ted. She first developed a crush on Ted and did everything to attract him but ended up with Barney. When Barney stopped talking to her, she became the jealous ex and sabotaged all his dates with other girls, leading to the women walking out on Barney.

Barney eventually made up with her. When he briefly became enemies with Ted, he and Abby came up with a plan to make him jealous by pretending they were engaged. However, Abby took the engagement seriously and began planning a wedding. Barney had to lie to her that Ted wanted her again to force her to reconsider.

3 Quinn

Barney and Quinn met in the unlikeliest of places. They got along because they were similar. They both loved plays, pranks, and sex. Their engagement was a bit of s surprise but viewers thought it might work.

The relationship failed because Quinn wasn’t a pushover. Barney tried to make her sign a prenup with outrageous terms such as paying $2000 every time she gained weight, getting breast implants, and allowing him to be polygamous. She came up with terms of her own but he couldn’t handle them. Kudos to her.

2 Robin

Robin was the only woman who was able to make Barney commit for the long term. Barney proposed to her and they got married in 2013. The two even traveled the world together but Barney eventually got tired. Divorce was always inevitable and it did happen a few months into their marriage.

RELATED: How I Met Your Mother: How Barney Changed From Season 1 (& How He’s The Same)

She gets the credit for managing to tame Barney’s promiscuity for a while. Sadly, these two were not really meant for each other. Robin always seemed like a better fit for Ted than Barney. Barney and Robin also hurt other people a lot by hooking up.

1 Nora

Nora stood out because she could spot Barney’s lies from miles away. When he tried to trick her into getting to bed with him, she rebuffed him. She could also tell he was pretending when he lied about a broken neck just so he could see her.

She eventually bonded with him over their love for laser tags. When he canceled a date due to illness, she was ready to take care of him. Barney even confessed that Nora made his heart skip a beat. He went to great lengths to get her but still ruined things by cheating on her with Robin.

NEXT: How I Met Your Mother: Robin’s Exes, Ranked By Intelligence

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Updated: January 8, 2021 — 3:00 am

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