10 Funniest Chris Farley Quotes

Decades after his tragic death, Chris Farley remains one of the most beloved comedic talents of all time. He burst into the spotlight on Saturday Night Live where he quickly became one of the most popular cast members in the show’s long history. He then followed that up with various memorable film roles.

RELATED: Chris Farley’s 10 Best Movies, According To IMDb

Though Farley’s time in the spotlight was far too brief, fans thankfully have plenty of hilarious material to remember him by. From his classic sketches on SNL to his films, there are always some hilarious quotes from the late great Chris Farley that are guaranteed to brighten up your day.

10 That’s One Small Step For Man! One Giant… I Have A Dream!

Black Sheep reunited Farley with his pal David Spade following the success of Tommy Boy. While this film was much less funny and charming as their first effort, there are still some funny moments in the story of the buffoonish brother (Farley) of a presidential candidate.

In one memorable scene, Farley finds himself accidentally onstage at a “Rock the Vote” rally. As the large crowd gives him a warm reception, he gets carried away with himself and begins spouting off inspirational slogans. But when he forgets the rest of the famous Neil Armstrong quote, he switches to Martin Luther King Jr.

9 Lay Off Me I’m Starving

Farley’s joined SNL castmates David Spade and Adam Sandler in a popular recurring sketch called “Gap Girls”. The very ’90s sketch had them playing teen girls working at the Gap who don’t take their jobs very seriously.

RELATED: The 10 Best SNL Hosts Of The 1990s, According To IMDb

In the most famous version of the sketch, the girls are having lunch at the mall when Farley’s character, Cindy, helps herself to some of her friends’ fries. When one of them reminds Cindy she is supposed to be on a diet, Cindy grabs them by the throat and says in a booming voice, “Lay off me, I’m starving!”

8 Could’ve Done Without That

chris farley tommy boy movie stars died tragically young

Tommy Boy is often considered Farley’s best film work and it is a great showcase of what made him a star. It is a role that combines his manic energy with a sweet charm. Farley plays Tommy whose father passes away, leaving Tommy to save the family business.

At one point, it seems like Tommy has failed everyone around him. He begins to wallow in self-pity, listing all the things that have gone wrong, losing the business, his girlfriend being angry with him. Just then, the bench he’s sitting on collapses and he sadly remarks, “I could’ve done without that.”

7 That Makes A Baker’s Dozen, Bob

Bill Swerski Superfans SNL

Another underrated recurring sketch from the ’90s was Bill Swerski’s Super Fans, in which a group of Chicago men would sit around drinking beer, eating fried food, and discussing the world of sports in Chicago.

Farley was always the highlight of the sketch. It was particularly memorable watching him fending off a heart attack then go right back to drinking and eating. When one of the other men asks how many heart attacks he has had, he responds casually that it’s a “baker’s dozen.”

6 Everybody On? Good! Great! Grand! Wonderful! No Yelling On The Bus!

Chris Farley as Bus Driver in Billy Madison

Adam Sandler is known for casting his friends in his comedies and Farley was a regular feature in many of his films as well. Perhaps his most memorable role was as the bus driver with severe anger problems in Billy Madison.

RELATED: 10 Funniest Quotes From Adam Sandler’s Billy Madison

After trying and failing to bond with Billy on a class trip, Farley’s red-faced mad man angrily boards all the kids on the bus, yelling at them for no reason. And as soon as he’s on the bus, he screams at the top of his lungs, “No yelling on the bus!”

5 Fat Guy In A Little Coat

The chemistry between Farley and Spade was a big reason Tommy Boy was such an enjoyable movie. A lot of it felt like two friends goofing around for the amusement of the audience. This is especially true in one hilarious gag in which Farley puts on Spade’s jacket and sings a song about a “fat guy in a little coat.”

It is such a random, charming, and funny moment. It is also apparently something Farley would do when he shared an office with Spade at Saturday Night Live.

4 I Can’t See Real Good, Is That Bill Shakespeare Over There?

Matt Foley SNL

Surely, the most famous character Farley has created is the manic and destructive motivational speaker Matt Foley. In the character’s first appearance, Foley is brought in to help set two young teens back on the right track.

When he asks Spade’s teen character what his ambitions are, Foley is not at all impressed. He walks over to Spade’s father (Phil Hartman) and asks if that’s “Bill Shakespeare” sitting over there. When the father says they encourage their son’s writing, Foley responds, “I wish you’d just shut your big yapper!”

3 You Remember When You Were With The Beatles? That Was Awesome

Saturday Night Live SNL

Another brilliant recurring SNL sketch starring Farley was “The Chris Farley Show”. In this sketch, Farley would interview very notable guests but was always too nervous to actually get through the interview.

RELATED: 10 Actors Who Have Never Hosted SNL (But Should)

In the best iteration of the sketch, Farley is joined by the legendary Paul McCartney. After beating himself up for giving an awkward introduction, Farley proceeds to just ask McCartney if he remembers various famous parts of his career.

2 I Don’t “Own A Toothbrush” Or “Let My Scabs Heal”

Bennett Brauer Weekend Update on Saturday Night Live

While most of Farley’s most famous SNL characters were featured in sketches, he did have one great Weekend Update character named Bennett Brauer. Brauer was a political commentator who was often invited on the show to speak to current events.

However, Brauer’s appearances would always devolve into him listing all of his faults in air quotes. As the list gets more and more ridiculous and disgusting, it gets even funnier.

1 First Off, I Am 35 Years Old, I Am Divorced, And I Live In A Van Down By The River

This is probably the quote fans most often think of when they remember the comedic genius of Chris Farley. Matt Foley uses this line as a way of introducing himself to his audience and immediately shows why he probably couldn’t motivate anyone.

His speeches also ways end with him threatening that if they don’t get themselves together, they are going to end up living in a van down by the river. At the end of the sketch, it’s revealed he’s really just trying to move in with the family to get out of that van.

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Updated: November 11, 2020 — 11:00 pm

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